WIFE VS HUSBAND

 A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
 
 An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted
 to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
 and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
 
 "Relatives of yours?"
 
 "Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."
 
 WORDS
 
 A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
 day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be
 because we have to repeat everything to men...
 
 The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
 
 CREATION
 
 A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid
 and so beautiful all at the same time.
 
 The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
 would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to
 you!"
 
 WHO DOES WHAT
 
 A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
 coffee each morning.
 
 The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we
 don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
 
 The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you
 should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
 coffee."
 
 Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
 that the man should do the coffee."
 
 Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
 
 So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at
 the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........
 "HEBREWS"
 
 THE SILENT TREATMENT
 
 A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
 each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the
 next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
 morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the
 silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake m e at
 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
 
 The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
 he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
 wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
 
 The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
 
 ---------------
 
 Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.  God may have created
 man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the
 masterpiece.
 
 SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN
 HANDLE IT